German Helmet
What does mean to be protected of a thing they call a bullet?
What does it mean to have a weapon?
And kill men they call British
This human has no respect for me
I will not protect him from those bullets
When he gets shot he probably will cry in pain and…..
I watch him lying there doing nothing but sit there
As he falls into a internal sleep
With picked up by a British soldier
And taken home where he gives it to his son
And I sit there, from memories of blood and pain to a place safe and no violence.
Alex Parker
Tuesday, October 23, 2007
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4 comments:
I really felt it, i was moved by your description of the german helmet.
There were only minamal air words
reid
there are a few air words so i think you could try to fix them upp it will help your poems get along way...
scott
This is a moving poem, and it really gets to you to tell you what war is all about. I think you have a bit to o many air words in this poem like he and him, words like that. With picked up by a British soldier doesn't make sense to me though. Maybe you should think about fixing that. I liked the poem though, just try fixing the things I suggested.
Marshall
wow thats really deep
great begining + end
"What does mean to be protected of a thing they call a bullet"
"And I sit there, from memories of blood and pain to a place safe and no violence."
This really puts the life of a soldier into my head
a few little problems though:
Air Words:
"When he gets shot he probably will cry in pain"
could be simplified to
"He cries in pain as the bullet hits"
Where you said "As he falls into a internal sleep "
Did you mean to say he "ETERNEAL sleep"
good job its a great poem
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